We are all victims
Most of my realisation in this life is how unideal it is for any human. This essentially points out to me how we all are a victim of one thing or the other. Being a victim is not an excuse. Being a victim means we must all at one point or the other be there for one another.
I didn’t like privileged people for a period of my life. I remember analysing the Simi and Naira Marley fight that led to the popular Naira Marley’s song am I a yahoo boy. I was convinced her life of privilege was blinding her to the reality of a struggling Nigerian and detested the fact that she was judgemental of their actions without putting into consideration their reality. Refusing to do as the saying goes “Temper Justice with mercy”.
I do not like yahoo boys but I very much see them as victims of a myriad of human flaws. In an ideal world , there’d be no yahoo boy. It stands as no excuse for their actions as I do believe everyone should take responsibility for their actions and their consequences. Privileged people were typically blind and insensitive to those with less privileges. But what I had never done prior to that time, was put into consideration the reality of someone that grew up with a lot of privileges. I couldn’t see how they were victims until I had a conversation with my wife about it. While I pride myself to have a lot of empathy, I had failed woefully to empathise with the privileged.
My bias had won. I am a victim too. A victim of my own reality and I was guilty of the very thing I believed Simi to be doing wrong. This became one of my lessons in empathy. You are not any better. Just different. We are all victims.
This has been very helpful for me when interacting with people generally and I have learnt to be aware of that bias. I would normally favour the side of the less privileged but the privileged are victims of their own reality too. To empathise, one must be willing to always step out of one’s shoe into another, whoever the other may be. We must be willing to see from their lens unclouded by our bias of what’s ideal, or right or wrong. For in this lies the conversation and action that can cause any meaningful change.
I am a victim too, but I am learning to be there for others within my capabilities. It’s not the easiest thing to do, I fail a lot but it is something I strongly believe in and hope to do with aplomb.
